it's 639 speaking again, and if at all possible, if i could get this out to her, i just want to tell her that i never did move on. i'm still stuck thinking of her.every day. i don't know what to do about it. i'm just....i hate this. i have all the time to get something out, but the moment that comes, i can't say anything. i guess i can't say that i "was" in the same position as her, i still am. i don't know what i'm supposed to say, but i'll just put this up anyways.

I HAVE STRONG FEELINGS FOR MY GIRLS SISTER. I KNOW SHE FEELS THE SAME WAY TO....SHE TOLD ME.bECAUSE LIFE IS A BITCH WE COULD NEVER BE TOGETHER BUT I JUST WANT THE WORLD TO KNOW THAT I LOVE HER AND I THINK SHE IS THE SEXIEST WOMAN AROUND. SHE DRIVES ME NUTS EMOTIONALLY AND PHSYCALLY.

its 635 here. i have my own story to tell, you, to explain my previous messages, why they were so confused and unsure, so torn between decisions. so here it goes:

when i was smaller, i was witness to love and its stories, and i was able to understand it. i wanted to experience it myself. i never told anyone. i learned from mistakes, found out new things, and did it all without a relationship. i spent my time thinking and dwelling on these things, and of other things that boys of my age had pondered. only difference was that i spent my time thinking during recess, walking by myself, occupied by the thought of love or one of my various yet temporary interests or hobbies. i spent those few years alone, and by the time i was twelve, i had broken through this shell and became just another kid. just one who thinks more, which would explain why i'm so quiet. i had my problems, my interests, and that girl. jeez, she was in the same position that i was in during the previous year at a previous school, frozen at the thought of what to say or what to do when the one person you had such a crush on so calmly came up to you, wiping your mind blank of the perfect plan of what to say. it was one hell of a coincidence that the person who she had a crush on was me, and that i felt the same for her. she was so confident, so smart,, so random, so perfect, yet just so outgoing in the light of love(or whatever you want to say)that she left me with a simple "hi." every now and then. this was only so rarely to be brought to a full conversation. it was only two years that we spent, in fear and confidence, surprise and trite; two years, because on the second year, we had to graduate from that school and go our seperate ways. this was only during the last school year. we never said a word to each other on that last day, she was crying that she would leave her friends, and i was there, next to her, during that small concert. i was not able to comfort her, in the fear that i would only bring her down, letting my friend, the class clown, help her to feel better. the only semblance of this that i could offer was to let her sit next to her friends, moving myself a seat over. when summer was coming to pass, i found her on myspace; i added her as a friend. i had only wished that it was more. yet i was so confused as to move on or to stay, pushed away by her friends but pulled back by my own friends and my own hopes. i don't know what will happen to me.

this is my own story so far. i hope it will have a happy ending; though i know those never existed.

621 again, and i just have this to say:

i'll try giving up on love. i can't find myself saying those three words, or the name of that girl. i'm certainly not the most attractive person, or the onewith the best personality. i'm okay, but i'm not sure if i'm made for love.

kinda sad that i'm a freshman and i'm giving up so early.

Im in love with #627.

#630, I feel the same way about my HS sweet heart. Could it be that you are mine and I am yours.