im in love with my best friend who everyone hates.... i think he loves me back

i cheated on my husband with a guy i met on the internet who thinks i am someone else. this person whom he thinks i am was originally created to spy on someone else. random girl whose faces cannopt be seen were posted just to see who would talk. then for me it became an experiment in how people can be manipulated. i manipulated people into thinking i would go out with them or whatever. i thought it was hilarious the things people would say and the pictures they would send. one guy even send me a picture of his penis without me asking for it.i just wanted to see how far someone would go before they figured out that the name and the pictures are not me. so anyway, this one guy sent an email to this imaginary girl that i had become. i replied back and thats how our convo started. he asked me for my (this fake girl's) phone number so i gave it to him. we texted back and forth and he said that he wanted to see me (the fake girl). i told him i would, but the real me is married with two young children. there was no way that i could go see him. so i(fake girl) made up an excuse about my mom being in a car accident so that i had a "legit" reason not to see him. i thought that if i flaked on him he would not talk anymore. but he kept talking to me (fake girl).
we talked on the phone, me pretending to be this girl that is not real) and texted eachother back and forth for a week, even when i went with my husbands family on vacation to the snow and the casinos. when i was alone in the hotel room watching my kids while my husband was out gambling or whatever ( we took turns with the kids so each of us could go out) i would call him or he would call me or we would text eachother. he sent me (fake girl) pictures of himself doing ordinary things i thought that was cool so i started to send him back pictures of my real self, partially hidden, meaning you couldnt see my whole face of body or whatever. he is so gorgeous and has trhe most beautiful deep eyes i have ever seen. he eventually sent me (fake girl) a couple picture of his naked self. OMG his penis is amazing. it is so perfect and BIG. he asked me (fake girl) for a picture of me naked so i sent him a picture of my bare breasts and my face at an angle so that you couldnt tell that it was me ( the real girl). this whole time i (pretending to be fake girl) told him where i was and what i was doing, he just thought i was with my family ( which i fabricated also). he did point out that the pictures on my profile didnt look anything like the photots i had texted him. i just played it off like i didnt get that text or i would evade the question. he kept talking to me( fake girl) anyway. i told him when i got back home i would go see him. so we set up a time that i (fake girl) would go see him. my plan was to just not show up, or answer his calls, and delete my fake profile. but I, the real girl, went to go see him, because i felt a pull like nothing i had felt before, like this is something that i should experience. so i drove the 45 minutes to where he lives from my hometown, but it too me over and hour cause i got lost. eventually i made it to his neighborhood and that was where i had to make the decision, do i meet him, and be rejected, as not only a fraud but have him insult me because i look absolutely nothing like the pictures i posted. the girl in the ophotos is skinny and beatuiful with pretty good sized breasts. the girl ive always wanted to look like. that was why people talked to me (fake girl) because they thought she was sexy or whatever. so i asked him if he wanted me or the pictures on my profile and he said it didnt matter cause he just wanted to meet me (fake girl). so it was a now or never situation. i drove to his house and almost had a panic attack waiting for him. i took off my wedding rings. he was riding around on his bike looking for me. he skidded to a halt right next to my car, which i had told him wasnt mine, and scared me half to death. i was so shocked i almost just drove away, but i culdnt make myself go. so i got out of the car and he looked at me and didnt seem to care that i am this really short, plain looking girl wearing no make-up, a tie-dyed shirt, jeans and brikenstocks. he didnt seem to mind. it was painfully awkward for me, i wanted to be there but i knew what was waiting at home for me. so he gave me a hug and god damn it was amazing! he smelled so goooooood. hes so tall and lean and beautiful i felt so gross standing next to him. but he didnt seem to mind he made a joke about me being short, but i wasnt mean or anything. it made me feel good. so we went into his house and we smoked a bowl. he started to watch a movie but his selction was weak. he asked me about my family and so i told him about my brother (fake girls brother) and he didnt really ask me anymore questions about my self or my family. he just seemd to go along with it. he had to know right from the moment he looked at me i wasnt who i said i was. it didnt seem to matter so i went along with it too. he played his guitar for me and he has such an amazing voice. so passionate and sexy. after that he was going to make pasta and spinach and soy salad for me. i looked at the clock and it was almost 3. i had only been there for an hour. i ahd lied to my husband and best friend about where i was going and what i was doing. my best friend was watching my kid and my husband thought i was at my best friends house. so i was like shit i need to leave. but i just couldnt make myself. i just couldnt. thats was when he kissed me. i almost fell down i got so weak in the knees. i couldnt belive that he did that, i wasnt expecting that to happen, but i really wanted it to, and it did. he stared to kiss me so passionately and sweetly that i kissed him back. some heavy petting action ensued, but i told him to stop and he immediately did and apologised. tis went on for about a half hour, he wopuld kiss me and i would push him away. finally i had made the decsion that i needed to leave or i would get caught. i felt so horrible to have to do that. but as i was getting ready to walk out the door, he kissed me agian and then it baceme another now or never situation. i went for it, bacuse i felt in my heart that i would never be able to experience something like this again. he kissed my mneck and my lips so softly it was like i was on fire. he pulled up my shirt and kissed my chest. i knew that i had to have sex with him. his body is so perfect and beautiful i just couldnt not give in. so we took our clothes off, granted this isnt even something i like to do for my husband beacuse after having two kids and not ever being skinny made me feel gros ne3xt to his perfect naked form. so we went into his room and had sex. it was tha most amazing feeling ive ever had in my life. the orgasm was incredible i cant even begin to describe it. it was just.......wow. then after wards i knew that i had to leave. so he saidhe wanted to see me again later this week. on a day that i cant possibly be able to make it. but i want to. i want to try. but he hasnt called me since that day and when i texted him he said he was busy. ill have to see how it goes... that is my secret. i still dont feel any better.

ok its probaly no big deal right? well a long time ago i saw my dad try to choke my mom. im haunted by it now... its gotten so bad suicide looks good... my parents are fine and they like to pretend its never happened. im scared about it all. i can never tell my family and i tell almost nobody. the past is behind me, sorta. the future seems bleak. i need help

I am 13 years old and i had sex with a boy that is 17 and i havent had my period and i think i should have had it all ready if im pregneat what should i do plz help me

My husband and I got married in September of this year.

The only reason I'm with him right now is because he's loved me for 25 years.

The only reason I love him is because he loves me so much.

I think maybe I married the wrong person. I want to find someone I broke up with 5 years ago. I want to have an affair.